I am still learning 
what love is 
But this is what I 
think it means:

To let go when you 
know someone can’t 
jar all your light anymore

To give yourself in 
the capacity they
need in that moment, 
even if it’s not in the image 
you initially hoped for

And to not make your words 
into a guillotine or a 
public hanging of the 
mistakes seeded in both 
your fragile spines

I said in a poem once, 
“I know we are not 
always going to be 
holy or magic but 
I hope even on our 
worst days we could 
still be a slow dance 
made of good intention”

The first night we were 
everything sin and far from 
salvation, you left me 
two stepping to the sound 
of your fading footsteps

In a room made of questions, 
you were scared, and 
I can understand 
I am finding 
I cannot be mad 
at a broken winged bird 
who does not know what 
it means to fly

So this is me 
clicking my record player 
chest back on,
outstretching my hand, 
and asking you to dance

We do not have to kiss at the end 
I only want to dance with you 
until you can hear the
symphony in yourself

Until you can find 
your altar, your holy wine, 
your bent knees, and the 
reverence in your own voice again

I want us to spin in circles 
until you are no longer 
clenched fist and belly fully of doubt 

I want us to get so dizzy 
your smile will finally be 
a horizon you feel okay 
with waking up to

None of this is easy 
Believe me, 
I am trying for the both of us 
but I have felt the anxious rhythm 
in your chest

I heard one time, 
if you hug someone for long enough 
your heartbeats will begin to match 

So come here, 
I will hug you until 
your heartbeat slows to mine 
or mine catches up with yours 
It doesn’t matter

This is what I am finding 
it means to love
To set aside your expectations 
To kill your ego 
and selfish desires 
To let pain be the teacher 
and the lesson is to always give 
even when it’s not in the way you imagined

This is love
To jump back into a ocean you 
have drowned in so many times before
and still have the heart to kick 
still have the heart to swim 
still have the heart to do it all over again.

- The most realistic poem I've ever read.